Awesome bass fun time!

Q: What are the holy grail bass headsets? I want to buy a pair of headphones that have awesome bass and make listening to music enjoyable.

A: Holy grail bass (because the first thing you say when you listen to them is "Jesus!") = Sony XB500/700/1000

Ark of the covenant bass (because I'll probably find the freaking ark of the covenant more easily than I find a D7k) = Denon D5000/7000

Antichrist bass (preceded of course by the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse bass, which are obviously Bose, Skullcandy, Monster and the Audio Technica AD900X) = Beats. Any Beats, because that's the brand audiophiles most love to beats up on.

The great pretender bass (it thinks it's a king, but it ain't) = the Audio technica ATHM50X. It has bassm, more bass, and pretgty much nothing but the bass.

The Shadow (because it actually has awesome bass, but no-one knows it exists) = JVC HA-SZ2000 - come on, admit it, how many of you know it's out there as an option: ready, waiting, even yearning for bassheads to pick it up and try it out?

Twins with an attitude (like the girls who picked you up at a bar and showed you what a "fun" time means until you collapsed in exhaustion at 5 am the next morning) = the Philips Fidelio X1/X2

Purchase advice: cheap closed on-ear headphones

Q: My budget is small - $30-$80, and I am looking for closed on ear headphones that I can use when out and about. Help! Bonus points for looking good.

A: At your budget, its hard to find closed on ears. In the US the Martin Logan Mikros 90 is being discounted for $80-90, and would fit your needs perfectly,and is worth trying to find on sale.

Alternatively, consider the JVC HAS160 Flats. They are closed, on ear, in your budget, don't look terrible, and sound reasonably good for the price.